Do you like movies? I sure do. Do you ever wonder if you and I like the same movies? I sure do. Do you ever have the dream that you're flying naked in front of a classroom as a tsunami is approaching while your teeth are falling out? I never have. If the first two questions were a yes, then keep reading. If the third question was a yes, maybe you want to get a little help. Here we go with, Cary Schwartz's Top 10 Movie's of 2013... and just so you know there may be spoilers but I bet you can handle it.
1. "Inside Llewen Davis" - I love every Coen Brother's film (excluding "The Ladykillers" and "Intolerable Cruelty") and this was no exception. It's wonderfully written, brilliantly directed, and terrifically acted. The Coen's are great at putting new talent like Oscar Isaac front and center with great results - They also did it a few years ago with Michael Stuhlbarg in "A Serious Man." Considering that every actor in the world wants to work with these guys, it seems like a ballsy move to have the entire movie rest on the shoulders of an actor that nobody has heard of, but Joel and Ethan obviously know what they're doing. They are the only filmmakers who can make uninteresting things seem very interesting.
2. "The Wolf of Wall Street" - Martin Scorsese (or Marty if you're in the know) is always mentioned as one of the greatest filmmakers who's ever made a film. If you watch "Goodfellas", "Taxi Driver" or "Raging Bull" you'll know why. If you watch "Bringing Out the Dead", "Shutter Island" or "The Color of Money" you might have your doubts. Now, "Wolf" is no "Goodfellas" but it is pretty damn good, fella (BAM!). This movie tells the true story of Jordan Belfort, a self made billionaire, who made insane amounts of money screwing people over in the '90's. Not to be confused with Heidi Fleiss who made insane amounts of money screwing people in the '90's. Leonardo DiCaprio (or Leo if you're in the know) is four shades of fantastic as one of the biggest douchebags who's ever appeared on the silver screen. Other notable movie douchebags are Tom Cruise (or Xenu, if you're in the know) in "Magnolia", Owen Wilson in "Cable Guy", and every character that will be in the upcoming Entourage movie.
3. "Captain Phillips" - A crazy, intense, edge of your seat pirate movie. A
helluva lot more exciting than The Pirate Movie with Christopher Atkins
and Kristy McNichol.
4. "The World's End" - Edgar Wright has made 4 films and I've loved every one. Simon Pegg is super duper hilarious in this movie and made me laugh on almost every line. This movie starts out as the story of 4 middle aged guys (or blokes if you're British) who attempt to recreate the epic pub crawl they failed to finish 20 years earlier. What starts out as 4 dudes (or chaps if you're British) reliving past glories quickly turns into sci-fi craziness where the 4 friends (or mates if you're British) discover that everybody in town, the town they grew up in, have been replaced with robots. Sounds weird, right? It is, but it's also hilarious and fun. I read an interview where Simon Pegg, who's sober, said that watching this movie might make you question your drunken ways. He was way wrong because as soon as the movie ended, me and the three people (or scallywags if you're British) I saw this with went straight to a bar and drank beer. Take that Pegg!
5. "Twelve Years a Slave" - Absolutely hilarious
6. "Star Trek: The Wrath of Cumberbatch" - J.J. Abrams is one of the most exciting filmmakers working today. He's a true directing star (Wars). I loved his first Star Trek and for this one, he (Empire) strikes back with another great romp. J.J. moved on to another big project so he won't return (of the Jedi) to Star Trek but he sure did make a couple fun ones. Benedict Cumberbatch was a fantastic (Phantom) menace, but he was no match for the Enterprise crew when they were finally able to attack (of the Clones) and seek their revenge (of the Sith) on him. I wonder what J.J. Abrams next big project will be?
7. "This is the End" - The absolute funniest and best movie where actors play themselves. This was the directorial debut of writing/producing/Jewish-ing partners Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg and I can't wait to see more directing gems from them.
8. "Jurassic Park 3D" - Yeah, yeah it's not technically a 2013 movie, but I only saw about 20 movies this year and one of them was "Man of Steel" which is one of the 5 worst movies ever made (Congo, Cutthroat Island, Batman and Robin, and Van Helsing) so you're gonna have to cut me some slack. Find me a scarier, more intense, nerve-racking scene than the T-Rex scene and I'll eat my hat. Actually I'll eat my brother's Jurassic Park hat he wore everyday from June 1993 to May 1996 (when he got a "Twister" hat).
9. "Gravity" - After seeing this in IMAX 3D, I turned to my buddy Creed and said, "That movie just blew my balls out." True story. Not that my balls actually blew out, but that I said it.
10. "Before Midnight" - Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke finish out their trilogy of two people walking around and talking in an exotic location. In this film, just like the other two, they literally just talk about bullshit for about 2 hours but it's captivating. This one is a little different than the previous two because now they're a couple so instead of just talking about stuff, they fight about stuff. Oh, and it's also different because you get to see Julie Delpy's boobs.
Now stop reading and go watch these movies.
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