My husband and I were on our way to the "Happiest Place on Earth," Disneyland! We've been planning this trip since our very first meeting at The Disney Store at Valley View Mall. Needless to say, it was our dream vacation! We saved our pennies and for Christmas, we gave each other a plane ticket to beautiful Anaheim, California. It was a very funny Christmas because, just like in that wonderful story, I sold all my Snow White sweatshirts, Cinderella jewelry and Tinkerbell snowglobes in order to afford our plane tickets. You think I had it rough, my husband sold the car, took out a third mortgage on the house and sold his kidney through Ebay. I sure hope FelchingFreddy puts that kidney to good use.
Once we landed at the scenic John Wayne Airport in Orange County, we knew we needed to find an affordable hotel. We had heard that the places next to Disneyland were a little out of our price range so we decided on the charming town of Norwalk. We were really drawn to it because, not only is it a mere 12 miles from Disneyland, we were also able to make jokes about the word, Walk, in the city's name since my husband was stuck in a wheelchair and unable to walk himself. There were a few complications from the kidney surgery, word of advice - I will never again use a Groupon for kidney removal. The fact that Dr. Midnight's office was the back of a rusty van should've been a sign, but the semi-framed diploma from "Doctor's College" put us at ease.
We took a super shuttle to the Norwalk Villa, and were a little alarmed when the driver said he had to drop us off 2 miles from the motel. He also warned us that we shouldn't wear any red on our walk/wheelchair ride to the Villa. Lucky for us, the Pinocchio cargo shorts my husband was wearing turned from red to brown, courtesy of the bowel control issue he was experiencing since the kidney removal. We arrived at the place a little late since the super shuttle driver told us the wrong directions. He said to go right by the Math Lab. We didn't see any school or any building resembling the studies of Arithmetic anywhere on that 2 mile hike. The only building we saw was small beaten up house with a heck of a lot of chemical barrels outside on the lawn. We did have a pleasant encounter with one of the residents of the house, Toothless Sally, who offered to blow my husband for twenty dollars. I guess she noticed the breath controlled electric wheelchair that he uses to get around since he's now paralyzed from the neck down after the botched kidney surgery. It was very sweet to find someone willing to help!
We eventually found our way to the hotel which was a relief because while walking through a park on the way, I accidentally stepped on something that went straight through my Sleeping Beauty flip flops. At first I feared it might have been one of the shards of broken glass that scattered the park. I was surprised to look down and find a hypodermic needle sticking through the heel of my foot. It must've been from one of the diabetic teenagers sleeping on the park bench. My cousin is diabletic so I understand that when you need your insulin, you need your insulin. Whether it's in the comfort of your living room or next to a rusty swingset in a grassless park at midnight. I was able to limp the rest of the way to the hotel and by the time we made it into the lobby, I was feeling great. Almost as if someone had injected me full of that medicine they give you right before they fill a cavity at the dentist. I guess it was the adrenaline of being so close to Disneyland!
They only had one room available, and we did have to share it with a delightful young woman. She wore a snakeskin mini-skirt, bright pink crop top and the heels on her shoes must've been 10 inches high. What a brave look! She also had the most defined Adam's Apple I have ever seen on a woman. She was very popular and she must've had about 20 friends come over and visit throughout the night. It was a real funny moment when we found out that every single one of her beady eyed chums was named, John. What an interesting coincidence!
All in all, the Norwalk Villa was a great place for the money. Fifteen dollars an hour! Of course, you did have to leave your wallet with the front desk so I guess we'll find out what kind of hidden fees there are when they mail us back our belongings like they said they would. They have a unique system because I don't even remember giving them our address upon arrival. They must have looked it up when they rummaged through our bags in the middle of the night. Luckily, we had our Disneyland tickets in my husband's fecal stained back pocket. Of course, we weren't able to use the tickets since my husband wasn't able to recover in time from the knife wound he received when one of our roomate's buddy's thought he "looked at him funny." The joke was on John because my husband hasn't had any vision since the the removal of his kidney.
I give the Norwalk Villa 4 1/2 stars!
No comments:
Post a Comment