Blood Pressure Check

I live a pretty stress-free life. Things are great and I have no issues to speak of. I have a sweet and beautiful girlfriend, two cute and loving canine companions and a DVR filled with 1990's era movies that I forgot to watch twenty years ago. I stay in shape, eat relatively well and only drink on days whose first letter belongs in the 2nd half of the alphabet... with the exception of Monday and Friday. I have great friends, a working central A/C unit and a job that is walking distance to Chick-fil-A. I also have a family that has blessed me with full love and support. They've also blessed me with high blood pressure.

My family history is very typically Jewish. We eat with each other, talk to each other and complain about each other. A very Jewish upbringing means you're with family a lot. Holidays, weddings, Bar/Bat mitzvahs, Sunday dinners and especially the opening of a new bagel place. This are all parts of my genetic make-up that I have embraced about my Jewish heritage. The genetic trait I dislike the most is the passing down of high blood pressure. Well, that and the nose size.

I went to the doctor a month ago and was informed that I was "at risk" for high blood pressure. My BP was not too worrisome but with my family history, I would have to keep an eye on it. I was told to work out regularly and be mindful of what I was eating. That seemed like two very reasonable things. Work out regularly, like, a couple times a month. Be mindful of what I eat, like, don't eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that fell on the floor of a movie theater unless you were able to pick it up within 13 seconds.

My doctor actually meant that I should work out more than twice a month. He went as far as to say I should work out 3-5 times a week. Hey Doc, I'm just trying to lower my blood pressure, not join the Marines. He also said my eating habits should go beyond not just stopping myself from eating a tasty treat off the floor of the stale popcorn stained concrete of a popular movie theater chain and actually paying attention to what I'm ingesting into my body. Not too much red meat, not too much fried food and not too much beer. I don't think that's going to happen - I may be Jewish, but I'm also Texan.

The best part about modern medicine is that the doctor can lecture you on how to live your life but he can also prescribe to you a magic little pill that helps you out without having to listen to the quack. I don't have to work out or watch what I eat. Instead, I swallow an unjagged little pill as I woof down my second plate of bacon.

I feel great, I look great and my life doesn't have to change at all. I like these small blue tablets I take daily. They're easy to digest and affordable to buy. Everything is alright in the world. Now, if I can only figure out how to get rid of this constant erection...